The Amateur Valentine

As many of you know, and a few of you would like to forget, Valentines Day was just this last Friday.  For this guy (yours truly) it was my first as a new husband.  Now, some argue that this is a fabricated and commercialized holiday created by the global conglomerate illuminate to create rifts between otherwise successful couples.  However, these arguments will never truly let me opt out from my due diligence as (semi) thoughtful husband.  As I was not stupid enough to try getting out of this holiday,  (Ha, Ha, not this time brain!)  I thought I would go all out for my wife.  Here are a couple things I have learned to do (and not to do) on this day.

1.  Roses and chocolates are a cope out.  (Yes, you read that right!)  The staple gifts of this holiday are so ultimately unimaginative that it will leave your significant other wondering if you put any thought into what she/he wanted.  Flower shops, grocery stores, retail stores and even gas stations stock roses and chocolates in such abundance that bringing these home show as much thought into your lover's feelings as bringing home bread and milk.  This vast void of effort will in turn leave a sour note on the rest of the day (and perhaps longer).

2.  You don't have to rob a bank to put a smile on her face.  Contrary to diamond and jewelry companies, spending money on diamond rings, earrings, or bracelets may not be the best idea.  In fact for a lot of frugal couples (like my wife and I) spending that kind of dough might just create a depressing budget meeting.  Creativity and effort will always trump a metastable allotrope of carbon.*  Pick her favorite hobby or pastime and expand on it.

Example:  She loves books.  So find her favorite author(s), buy the volume she doesn't have and then turn your living room into a coffee shop complete with a barista (that would be you).  In most cases she won't just pull up a chair and start reading your new present but instead have a wonderful chat over some coffee.

3.  Kiss her like you mean it, dammit it!  How simple!  How easy!  How common!  And how is this completely left out?!  When you have been in a relationship long enough to get comfortable, kisses have a tendency to become mundane.  A peck on the lips before leaving for work or a simple goodnight kiss is what most of our intense and passionate make out sessions have turned into.  Genuinely look into her eyes.  Slowly, put your hands on her face, draw it into yours and delicately kiss her like she was the most fragile angel in the world.  It is such a sweet and simple thing to do she may just go into diabetic shock...or just be shocked.  Now that I think about it, the second one is the one you should shoot for.

So that is my advice.  It's easy, frugal (nice way of saying cheap), and more importantly leaves a lasting impression.  You might be asking "JadedIcon, what did you do for your wife this Valentines Day?"  And to that I would say,  "Mind your own business you goddamn paparazzi stalker!!  Jeez!"

All kidding aside, I had the day off from work.  Made my wife breakfast and as soon as she left for work I cleaned the entire house including vacuuming and dusting (a no small feat mind you).  Made a candlelight lunch, dressed up in a three piece suit and broke out the first gift I ever gave her for Valentines day (a small Teddy bear).  With the romantic music set, her jaw literally dropped when she came home from lunch  She had been suggesting for a while that we should tackle the cleaning on Saturday, but this gave us a chance to relax and spend a wonderful, chore free, weekend together.  Not only that but it had made more than a few of her co-workers jealous that she had a hubby that knew his way around a vacuum.

Anyways, good luck lovestrucks and happy hunting with cupid!


*Warning!  This is definitely and absolutely not the case with engagement rings.  In fact, I never said that!  Leave my name out of it, you never knew me!  Crap, where is that bus ticket?

Starting the Amateur Blog

Well, here we are.  At the beginning.  I honestly can't think of the sole reason for wanting to start a blog.  To gain writing experience? Well, I have started and failed to complete three novels.  Family tradition?  I am the third blogger in my immediate family.  And one could make a compelling argument that I am also the worst. Could vanity be the reason? Maybe....actually that seems the most likely.

But I do know why I wanted to start this blog.  I wanted to try something new.  I wanted to post my experiences about trying new things that interested and intrigued me in hopes that it would encourage more.  More adventures, more experiences, more life's lessons, more blog posts....  I chose to name my blog "The Amateur Blog" for very specific reasons.

One, the term "Amateur" means;  A person who engages in an art, science, study, or athletic activity as a pastime rather than as a profession.  I want to do this and despite my dubious skills and intentions, I want to do it well.

Two, as a man that has no mastery in any skill (is eating a skill?), I chose something that I am very familiar with in most of my situations.  I am an amateur.

Three, I find the subject interesting.  Also, I couldn't really think of a good third reason, but ending it at two just didn't seem decisive enough.

So expect a new subject every week or so (fingers crossed).  As I might have led you to believe I have a full time job already, this is just for kicks.  So I hope you find this as entertaining to read as I found it to write.